A Roy By Any Other Name
by kkkce
Summary: Riza sets out to find a suitable date for the Amestris Military Ball. She finds someone to get her mind off Col. Mustang, but Riza fails to notice he looks very familiar indeed. Everyone notices that this Mr. Reggie Marsden is the spitting image of Roy –
1. Riza's Scheme

A Roy By Any Other Name

Summary: Riza sets out to find a suitable date for the Amestris Military Ball. She finds someone to get her mind off Col. Mustang, but Riza fails to notice he looks very familiar indeed. Everyone notices that this Mr. Reggie Marsden is the spitting image of Roy – everyone except Riza and Roy himself. This was based on a _Friends _episode, "The One With Russ". I don't own _FMA _or _Friends_.

He wasn't even trying, Riza noticed. He was staring into space, probably contemplating the war. His lips curved into a smile. So he was thinking about a woman then. Ladies, _beautiful curvy_ ladies were the only ones that brought out that grin. Or perhaps he was recalling Fullmetal's numerous reactions to various 'shrimp jokes'.

Riza's eyes darted to all the men in the room. Fuery seemed more nervous than before. He was actually sweaty as he did his paperwork. _What did Havoc do now?_ she thought. Speaking of Havoc, he was eyeing the colonel suspiciously, as if trying to read his mind. An unlit cigarette dangled at the side of his mouth as he surveyed his grinning superior officer. Riza dared not reprimand him. Whenever Havoc's face was like that, he meant serious business. _What did Colonel Mustang do now?_

Breda was fumbling through his little black book. Worry enveloped his usually nonchalant expression, and his brows were knitted together by a frown. He needed to call somebody, but he didn't seem to find the number he was looking for. Falman was stroking his chin and muttering to himself.

Her usually merry group (except the colonel) was immersed in a secret dilemma – one that she couldn't decipher just yet. Their problems seemed to intertwine and spread gloom about the room. Her own mood was starting to be affected.

Roy's cheery daydreaming began to get on her nerves. He chuckled for a moment and resumed writing. Still, Riza couldn't get rid of her annoyance. She couldn't believe he seemed oblivious to his own men's private suffering...or Havoc's display of chagrin. Riza didn't wish to be a meddler, but her silent comrades gave her no choice. She was about to break the stillness, but Havoc saved her breath.

"Colonel, whom do you plan to ask out?" Havoc asked with a hint of steel in his voice.

"Why do you ask, Havoc?" the colonel swivelled around in his chair, avoiding his second lieutenant's gaze.

"Oh nothing," the blond man replied with sarcasm. "I was just thinking that you might steal one of my girls again, that's all." The men looked up from their desks now. This was serious. Havoc usually kept quiet about Roy's girlfriend-snatching.

"Me? I never stole any of your girls. And I thought you were dating only _one_."

"For your information, I too have _multiple _dates," Havoc stressed on the word 'multiple'. "And you did steal one of them. My favourite, Grace!" That was it. His voice was raised now as he rose from the chair. Fuery gave a whimper.

"I never stole her from you. _She _came on to me," Roy stood up from his chair to. His and Havoc's eyes were locked now. The colonel's voice had none of the venom in Havoc's, but it was tainted with some hurt. He never saw the point in bringing up the past in a fight. It only brought back bad memories. "I thought you let this go."

Havoc looked at his boots for a moment. He was being paranoid. The colonel was his old friend. No way would Roy allow this mistake to happen again.

"I'm sorry," Havoc said. As an informal truce, he added with a smile "So whom do you intend to bring?"

Riza held it in no longer. "I'm sorry Havoc, but what's with the probing about the colonel's dates? Shouldn't you be minding your own business?"

"Lieutenant Hawkeye! You've forgotten about the ball?" Havoc raised an eyebrow. The men were staring at her as if she was mad. A tinge of scarlet appeared on her cheeks. She _had _forgotten about the ball. The stupid Annual Military Ball. She saw no point in these social gatherings when the powerful huddled together and congratulated themselves in being rulers of the world (Author's note: took that line from_ Titanic)_.

"Planning to bring Alphonse again?" Roy's eyes twinkled with amusement. The young Elric was too ashamed to ask anyone out, even Sheska (who eventually went out with Denny Brosh after Maria Ross refused him). Riza volunteered to be his 'date' to give him confidence for next year. The night would've been pleasant if not for Al's clumsy dancing. Being stepped on by a heavy suit of armour isn't really what you'd call a night to remember.

"I think he can handle himself now," Riza stated flatly.  
"With those two left feet of his?" Roy guffawed. "I'd take you, lieutenant, but I'm caught up in my own dilemma."

"Oh please. I do have a life," Riza scoffed. "Many men would die to go out with me. Besides, isn't your 'dilemma' called Sally, Morella, and Tish?" How dare Roy offer to take her out on a _pity _date.

"I'm going out with a lovely lass named Penelope. She's petite and really _the best _I've ever been with," Havoc boasted a little too loudly.

"Don't worry. I won't steal your current girl," Roy reassured him. "I've got three others to worry about. God knows what they'd do to each other if I don't make up my mind at once."

Riza sighed and returned to her work. The mention of _three_ women killing each other for Roy made her uneasy. She was big enough to admit that she had secret feelings for her superior, but made sure never to reveal them. Three women and Roy. Three women, for crying out loud. There was no way to compete with that.

Her blunt pencil needed sharpening. As a rule, she'd take her sharpener out of the drawer, but this time she felt like using a more brutal mean of sharpening. Riza reached for a small knife strapped on her left and started working on her pencil. With each scraping noise, she imagined those three _beautiful curvy _women and how much fun it would be to give them a run for their money.

She had a sleek black gown in mind. Riza would let her hair down, wear her best jewellery and stun them all. She'd show them. Oh yes she'd show them how much of a catch she is. _I need a guy_, she thought. A handsome, successful, and irresistibly charming man that every girl would want for themselves – someone who would make Roy look like a stable boy.

_But who would fit this description perfectly?_ She had a about a week to search.


	2. Reggie Marsden

CHAPTER 2

A newcomer would describe downtown as a hive of buzzing bees. They worked and gossiped about the latest news – the ball. Ladies, obviously, were eager to be a part of this yearly gathering of Amestris' finest alchemists and soldiers. It was rare to enter a world of glamour arm-in-arm with a man in uniform. The men were working harder for the sake of their giddy daughters and their ambitious aims. If it was possible to snag a rich military man or alchemist, their lives would be much better.

Lieutenant-Colonel Hughes was responsible for half of the rumours flying around that the infamous Flame Alchemist was desperate for a date. Roy couldn't recall why he was best friends with this loudmouthed tattle-tale in the first place.

"_Why Hughes? WHY?!" _

"_Simple! If they think you're single and available, they'll land on your doorstep! Like newspapers!"_

"_N-news-p-papers?" _

"_Why yes! I mean, you don't really want them to be come, but they do!"_

"_Do you realize what you've done?! I already have three women fighting over me, and now you've involved the entire city! Why do I put up with you, Hughes? WHY?!"_

"_Because I'm sexy. And I want you to find a wife! Come on, don't you think it's TIME?"_

"_Well, I guess you did have my best interest at heart...but one more thing Hughes..."_

"_What is it, bud?"_

"_Why'd you have to add the word DESPERATE?!"_

Hughes' ears were still bleeding from Roy's outburst earlier that day. He didn't realize he added _desperate_ to his little tales. _Anyhoo, Roy'll thank me when my plan's successful. Oh Maes, I'm so glad you did this for me! I'll do anything for you! Yes yes, even buy you that beautiful camera you want._

Truthfully, Hughes would have preferred Riza for his best buddy, but whatever he did, they never seemed to find mutual attraction. At the back of his mind, he hoped that the first lieutenant would be overcome with jealousy and finally confess her feelings. He chuckled. He was being a meddler again, a 

romantic meddler akin to the likes of Cupid. The Hughes line had a fetish for sticking their noses in other people's business, and he admitted that he enjoyed it very much.

Grace's flower shop was just around the corner. He would drop in and buy a bouquet for his sweet Gracia. White roses would go very well with her gown of choice for the ball. Tomorrow night was _the night _– a perfect opportunity to show off his wife and adorable little angel.

He stopped in his tracks. Right there at the flower shop was his best friend, Roy Mustang. The young colonel was chatting animatedly with the florist as he was shown a variety of bouquets. Hughes edged nearer. He would surprise Roy and coax him into taking the lovely lady. _Havoc's gonna hate me, but I need to put my best bud first. Roy's the mentally unstable one._

He stepped into the shop and gave Roy a good-natured slap on the back. The younger man spun around and looked about ready to hit him. Seeing it was a man Lieutenant-Colonel Hughes, he smiled.

"I'm sorry, Lieutenant-Colonel," Roy said amiably. "I was just chatting with this kind lady here. Is she your girlfriend?"

Hughes was taken aback. "My _girlfriend? _Roy, don't kid with me." Hughes scanned the vicinity quickly, hoping none of his wife's friends or (lord forbid) his wife heard Roy's unintelligent joke. He faced Grace with such pride that she had to take a step back...in his hands was a picture.

"This, my dear, is my family! So sorry honey, but I'm happily taken!" Poor Grace had to shield herself with an available bouquet. Hughes turned his attention to a startled Roy.

"Now buddy, ask her out! Before you die a single and ALONE!" Hughes wailed. He grabbed the raven-haired colonel by shoulders and looked closer into his eyes – inspiring fear, inspiring awe, inspiring...wait...something wasn't right. Roy's nose was a little pointier today.

"Keep your hands off me sir, or I shall have no choice but to call my lawyer," Roy was seething now.

"Who are YOU?! You're not my Roy!" Hughes screeched. He let go of the angry man as if he were on fire. "Impostor! IMPOS-"

"HUGHES!" Riza's voice echoed and bounced off the walls. She held a bag of apples in her left hand as she reached for the holster of her gun on the right.

"Uh, there you are, Riz..." Roy said, delighted the blonde was there.

"What are you doing to Reggie?!" her eyes held anger and bewilderment. Here was Maes, yelling his head off at her date in a flower shop. Impostor? Whom was she really supposed to shoot – the so-called impostor or the slightly-crazed man accusing him?

"R-Reggie?" Hughes eyed the Roy-doppelganger. From afar, he was Roy in build, height, and look. Upon coming closer, one would notice Reggie's nose was a bit pointier. Aside from that, there was nothing that would tell them apart...at least according to Hughes.

"Lieutenant-Colonel Hughes, this is my date for tomorrow night, Mr. Reggie Marsden." Riza moved in between the men and forced them to shake hands. Hughes gave an uneasy smile, and Roy – Reggie – returned it with an awkward smirk. _So very much like Roy_, Hughes thought. _I wonder if Riza notices._

"Sorry chap, I thought you were Colonel Roy Mustang."

"The infamous Flame Alchemist? Why would you think that?" Reggie added. He seemed surprised by such a mistake.

"W-why? Because you two look so much alike!" Hughes looked from Reggie to Riza. They held the same look of puzzlement. Perhaps too much work made Riza dim? The young couple laughed.

"Oh Hughes, such a kidder," Riza smiled and took Reggie by the arm. "But we really do have to get going. We have reservations at Monique's," they stepped out of the shop and into Reggie's car. A chauffer was awaiting.

"Ta-ta." Riza called before they sped off into the now lamp-lit street. _Ta-ta? _Hughes thought. What was that – some kind of upper-class goodbye?

_Reggie's a bad influence. Worse, he looks like Roy! Someone has gotta hear about this!_

Knowing Hughes and his motor-mouth, it would take, let's say, five...four...three...two...one...before someone would hear about the event in the flower shop.


	3. Seeing Double

CHAPTER 3

The infamous Flame Alchemist wouldn't have wanted the world (and his fans) see him flop on the floor when his bedside phone rang. As he expected, it was his nosy bespectacled friend on the other end of the line with more taunts about Roy's single hood and "too-big-to-keep-to-himself" news.

"Don't you know what time it is?!" Roy practically screamed into the receiver. "It's two in the goddamn morning!!"

Hughes felt his ears bleed again. Boy, he could scream loud. "Sorry bud, but there's this news that's too big to keep to myself!" Roy rolled his eyes. He knew that was coming.

"Funny, see, you had the rest of the night to call...yet you didn't."

"Because I spent the rest of the night researching about this Reggie Marsden. Oh don't worry; you're very much involved in this thickening plot!" Hughes chirped. Even as kids, Hughes loved the _thickening plot_, especially if it involved Roy.

Still, the colonel couldn't believe his ears. Hughes spent the whole night _researching_? Not spreading the word to a soul? _Man, he must be improving_, Roy thought. "Whole night. Researching?"

"Oh of course I told a couple of people." Hughes replied. _Nothing changes_, Roy mumbled.

"By a 'couple of people', you mean _the whole world_, right?"

"Well..." Hughes drawled on. "Pretty much. Yep."

"All right, fill me in so I can get back to sleep...was dreaming about a girl, you see..." Roy yawned.

"Would that girl be Ms. Riza Hawkeye?" Hughes tightened his grip onto his phone. Giving out hints before dropping the bomb was one of his favourite parts of a discussion.

Roy perked up. Yes, in fact it was the first lieutenant he had been dreaming of. Was Riza heavily involved too, or was Hughes suddenly reading minds?

"Start talking, or I'll slam down the receiver."

-

Jean Havoc wanted a cigarette – a white minty cigarette to relive himself of his anxiety. Nothing, even the grand ballroom that surpassed last year's venue or terrace overlooking rose gardens, comforted him. Penelope had been in the washroom for less than a minute, yet Havoc couldn't wait for her to come back. He couldn't _stand _having her out of his sight, lest a young duke Marsden would spot her.

He had been told be Hughes to survey the area and watch out for the spitting image of Roy – Duke Reginald Marsden. Not that Reggie was dangerous. Hughes simply wanted Havoc (and the rest of Roy's merry men) to keep the colonel as far away as possible from his look-alike.

Roy hadn't believed Hughes when he claimed that there was another raven-haired version of him walking around with a slightly pointy nose. He did open himself to the possibility that Duke Marsden may be Riza's date. It didn't sit well with him for some reason. After which, he didn't want to hear more.

_Where the HELL is Penny? _Havoc's thoughts were running wild. Roy's 'double' was somewhere around here for sure. Who knows what traits the man possesses? For all he knew, Reggie could be more of a womanizer than Roy ever was! _There are TWO of them running around. My poor Penny could fall prey to either one! _Havoc's suspicions were silenced when Penny came to embrace him.

Colonel Mustang had taken refuge on the terrace. He shut the glass doors and drowned out the noise. He needed solitude for the moment. He needed silence. Vivienne was probably looking for him everywhere, but he rarely thought about her now. Riza actually landed a real date this year. Last time it had been Al; the year before that, it had been Havoc (awkward for both); the years before that, it had been various members of their group. Never had her date been Roy.

He couldn't understand why he never came through with asking her out _seriously_. He had always hinted, always covered his intention with jokes, but his efforts did nothing more than annoy her. He was a man, yes, a man and a hero. But he wasn't brave. Well, not brave enough to ask out one of his oldest friends in the world.

Riza would enjoy the ball with the duke. She would delight in his fine manners and exquisite taste. Perhaps they had a lot in common, the pair of them. They would fall in love, get married and have a bunch of spoiled little dukes and duchesses. Roy started to freak. _I can't believe Hawkeye's getting married to that jerk!_ A jerk – whom he hadn't even met.

The Flame Alchemist decided it was time to turn his attention to the guests, the officers, and of course, his foxy Vivienne. He took one last breath of fresh sweet-smelling air and headed toward the glass 

doors. The majestic doors gleamed in the moonlight and seemed so fine and clean that he could see his reflection in them.

He gave his trademark smirk – the one the ladies swooned over. He ruffled his raven-coloured hair and straightened his expensive black suit. He was amused at the trick of the moonlight. Ahh, the moon seemed to cast a spell on his reflection, distorting it and making his suit seem blue and his face quite unattractive. A scowl crept its way on Roy's handsome features. Perhaps he wasn't as handsome as he thought he was?

Roy opened the glass windows. He growled ferociously as they refused to open. On the other side, Roy's 'reflection' tugged with the same force. The colonel gave up and turned away. Glancing back at his 'reflection', he noticed it was gone. Before he had ample time to think, Vivienne threw open the doors and dragged him back inside.

"Where have you been?" Vivienne demanded, her grip on Roy becoming tighter. "I just left to freshen up and you've gone missing already? Are you trying to hide from _me_?"

Roy barely listened. His eyes and everyone else's were focused on a beautiful young lady with pearls around her neck and light blonde hair that fell down to her shoulders. Fitting wonderfully on her body was a sleeveless gown of silky black that touched the floor and made soft rustling noises as she walked around the room. Leading her by the hand was, Roy presumed, Duke Reginald Marsden. Roy scoffed. He looked nothing like him. _Fugly fellow_.

Roy _had _to see Riza close-up. She had never looked so beautiful or so _happy_ in all the years he has known her. There was something in her right now – this glow, this radiance that filled the room and overwhelmed Roy. He _had _to speak to her and get her away from this so-called Mustang doppelganger.

The colonel wriggled away from his date's death-grip, but before he could come closer to the golden beauty, he heard a hair-raising shout.

"ARMSTRONG! GRAB ROY BEFORE HE TOUCHES REGGIE!!"

This was the last thing Colonel Roy Mustang heard before Armstrong's massive form landed on top of him.


	4. Denial and Jerks

CHAPTER 4

When Roy came to consciousness, he found himself lying on the parlour's sofa with the rest of his team crowded around him. The colonel admitted he was grateful for their concern and quite happy to see them. Someone whom he wasn't glad to see was Reggie...standing next to Riza.

"What are _you_ doing here?" Roy yelped and stood up. What a mistake. _Ow, ow head rush._

Hughes quickly intervened. "Now now, Colonel Mustang, that's not the way to speak to Duke Marsden!"

"Who gives a – " Roy was cut off by Riza's look of disapproval. Roy, being an expert in turning on the charm, replaced his frown with a pleasant smile.

"I mean, nice to meet you, Duke Marsden," Roy gave Reggie a rather painful handshake. Reggie returned it with equal intensity. "Sorry I didn't recognize you there."

"Oh don't worry. I'm not well-known in these parts," Reggie reassured the soldier. "Actually I found anonymity here quit pleasant...until somebody started spreading the news."

At this, Hughes ducked behind Armstrong. "Who would DO such a thing!"

Reggie laughed good-naturedly. "You may be a great investigator, but you're a terrible liar."

_He's not as bad as I thought_, Hughes smiled warmly. Roy noticed this and bit back a growl. His _best friend_ was being led into Reggie's web of charm. Soon he would be trapped. The Flame Alchemist wasn't going to be swayed by this talk.

"Would you like to see pictures of my family?!" Hughes was giddy with glee. Reggie took a step back just as Grace did in the flower shop.  
"Hughes, why in the world would he wanna – "

"Sure, I'd love to see photographs of your little family," everyone was caught off-guard at this reply. Roy's mouth was hanging open in disbelief.

"But aren't they just in the next room?" Hughes took the opportunity to grab the duke and take him to the ballroom. The other men took this as a signal to leave Roy alone with Riza. Whether this was really Hughes' intention, his best friend didn't know. Maes seemed extremely eager to introduce the duke to Gracia and Elysia.

"See ya later, chief," Havoc waved. "Better rest before dancing later."

"I'm sorry for tackling you, sir," Armstrong's eyes were filling with tears. "But not to worry! For I, Alex Louise Armstrong, shall give you the famous Armstrong massage!" With this bold statement, the major ripped off his shirt once again. "Handed on from generation to generation to – "

Roy shrunk in fear. No way was this man touching him again! "Uh, I don't think that would be necessary, Major." _Even taking of his shirt wasn't necessary..._

Riza, who calmly stood by her superior, waved Armstrong off. "I don't think he needs it, Major."

"But I insist!"

"OUT!!" the colonel and his first-lieutenant shouted. Roy breathed a sigh of relief as Armstrong's burly figure was out of sight. He noticed Riza was still by his side. _She musn't think much of this Reggie guy. If she did, she wouldn't be here with me. _

"Well well well, lieutenant, you're lucky I was put in this situation," Roy faced her and casually draped his arm around her.

"What are you talking about, sir?" A blush came across her face. Roy noticed and pulled her closer.

"All I'm saying is that you don't have to pretend you're into this Reggie. I can be your excuse for the whole night if you want." The colonel was over-confident in his own charisma again.

Riza immediately slipped away from Roy's arm and stood indignantly. "I only stayed because I was concerned about you. That's all."

Roy's face fell. Again, he unwittingly played jerk, and once again, Riza was annoyed. "You really like this character?"

"Yes. We met at the library and found a lot in common," Riza turned her back and headed to the ballroom. Before leaving through the doors, she added, "Is it so hard to believe I have an actual date, and not just one of our colleagues?"

Roy was stung. Not only was he stung, but he also felt cheated. _That bastard stole my tactic! The library's MY pick-up zone for hot smart women!_

-

"So where did you find him?" Gracia asked Riza as soon as she arrived. A small crowd was gathered around Reggie as he wowed them with stories from the royal court and the nature of his role as duke.

"The library. Here on vacation, he said," Riza caught a glimpse of Vivienne hanging around the group of onlookers. They all acted as if they've never seen royalty before. Central is one of the most popular destinations of the regal kind.

"Goodness, girl, you could've just taken Roy instead," Riza raised an eyebrow. "I mean, Reggie's not bad at all, but if you'll go out with someone who looks an awful lot like the colonel, you could've settled for the one we all know and love!"

"That's funny. Your husband mentioned almost the same thing. That Roy and Reggie look alike." Riza was pondered it all now. Did the onlookers think the same thing about the duke and the Flame Alchemist?

"They do! Don't you see?" Gracia exclaimed. She couldn't believe Riza was being so...difficult to get through. _Maybe too much work made her dim._ "His nose is just a bit too pointy for me."

"They're completely different..." Riza tried to reason. Elysia came up and tugged on her sleeve.

"I don't like Weggie!" she wailed. Gracia quickly covered her daughter's mouth and picked her up. She didn't want the guests saying anything about her angel.

"Shh, he's a duke sweetie. You don't want to get on his bad side, now would you?" Gracia said this in her kindest voice possible. Sometimes it was hard to make the little girl keep her thoughts to herself...just like Maes.

"But he's full of bad side!"

"Elysia!" Gracia put down her daughter and gently prodded her to the other children. "Play with the others okay? Don't break stuff and get yourself in trouble, young lady."

"But..." Elysia looked upset.

"And watch your mouth!" Gracia sighed and turned to Riza again. "Kids. Such a handful sometimes."

Riza gazed at her talkative duke and wondered for a moment whether he really resembled Roy. They were different from her point of view. Although she knew Reggie for only about a week, she was certain 

they were completely different. Reggie was perfect to rid her thoughts of Roy...but what if he would become the ultimate reminder? He hadn't reminded her of Roy when she first laid eyes on him. He wasn't the colonel's spitting image...or was he?

She continually pushed Mustang's image out of her mind. Had she become blind to Reggie's striking similarity?

Edward Elric, startingly taller than the last time he was seen, was heading straight toward the small crowd. Riza felt a lump in her throat. Whenever Edward was around the colonel (or in this case, someone who looked like the colonel), things would happen. Bad things.

"Edward!" Riza called out. Too late. The blond Fullmetal Alchemist had gone through and was now standing right in front of the duke. He peered menacingly at the older man and sneered.

"What's the matter, Mustang? No 'shrimp jokes' tonight? What's the matter with you?" The duke stood, clearly confused.

"Ah, dumbstruck aren't you? See, I'm no longer a _shrimp_, _a pipsqueak, an ant _or any _small _thing you may come up with!" Edward was laughing manically. "I had a growth spurt, and soon I'll be taller than you! Coz you're a man and won't grow any bigger!"

Edward was annoyed by the raven-haired man's lack of reaction. Reggie stood, transfixed, and seemed to enjoy the boy's non-stop chatter. A smirk was forming on his mouth. Edward grew pale. Did Mustang get a nose job? Or was this a very different man?

"WHO THE HELL ARE YOU?!" Edward screamed and pointed. There was the 'bad thing' Riza expected. Unnecessary yelling, overactive movements, eyes on the supposed 'prodigy' of Alchemists.

"Duke Reginald Marsden," Reggie shook the hand of the stunned Fullmetal. "I assume you're the great Fullmetal Alchemist?"

"T-that's w-what they call me..." Edward noticed all eyes on him. Oh how embarrassing. Riza sighed and placed a hand on Ed's shoulder. "Nice to see you again, Edward." She was about to bring up a cheery topic to encourage poor Ed, when Roy finally burst out of the parlour.

With all three in the room – Ed, Reggie, and Roy – Riza was sure that more 'bad things' would definitely happen.


	5. Drenched With Jealousy

CHAPTER 5

Ah, the sound of heels and shoes on the ballroom floor. The soft swishing of coats and gowns. Occasionally there was a light tinkling noise of the silverware and glasses. Chef Fernandez prepared an exquisite kind of drink, something that he experimented with in his kitchen. It was perfect. Guests would love the tangy concoction. He poured it into the punch bowl and coaxed guests to take a sip. He would protect his new drink from the likes of critics, recipe-snatchers and the annoying racket right in front of it.

Edward Elric was in the midst of freaking out because of Roy Mustang's snide comment. The colonel lived for this stuff and even named this as a hobby: shrimp-teasing. So the Fullmetal made a mistake in insulting the duke. Now the duke was arm-in-arm with Riza again. Mustang reasoned with himself that pissing off the blond alchemist was his way of letting off steam.

"Why Fullmetal, you've grown taller!" Roy said. "From shrimp to hobbit! Now that's progress."

"WHAAAAAAAAAAT?! WHO'S AS SHORT AS A HOBBIT THAT THE FELLOWSHIP WOULDN'T SEE HIM AND WOULD THINK HE'S TOO SMALL TO CARRY THE RING BECAUSE THE RING'S THE SIZE OF A HULA HOOP TO HIM AND WOULD SQUISH HIM BECAUSE HE'S THE SIZE OF AN ANT?!"

"Hmm, and now you claim to be the size of an ant?" Roy eyed Riza and Reggie moving to a secluded area. "You're still a pipsqueak, gotta go!" And he ran past everyone in a flash, leaving Edward angry and stunned.

"WE'RE NOT FINISHED YET, YOU SMIRKY BASTARD! I WILL HAVE MY – "

"Edward!!" A furious Winry grabbed the young alchemist's braid and yanked him to the side. "I've had enough out of you! First you abandon me and charge the duke, and now Mustang? What is it with you and raven-haired men? The three of you would make a great couple!" Everyone watched the poor defenceless creature be dragged out of sight.

"You know, I really enjoy being with you, my dear Riza," Reggie's words were suave and obviously flattering, but Riza smiled nonetheless and allowed him to caress her cheek.

"This one week with you has been...amazing! You're unlike other women," He smiled and whispered in her ear. "We've had this much fun, but why haven't you allowed me to kiss you yet?"

Riza's blushed madly and softly replied "I was just waiting for the right moment..."

"Don't you think that moment is now?" Reggie leaned over and closed his eyes. Riza copied his movement and was about to plant a kiss when Roy showed up in the shadows. She hadn't noticed him, but Hughes did.

"Ah, um CONDUCTOR! MUSIC PLEASE!" The conductor obliged and the orchestra played a merry tune. Riza placed a slender finger on Reggie's mouth and told him to wait it out for a moment. It wasn't time for intimacy yet. She needed to dance first. Roy's lips curved into a smile. He reckoned she wasn't ready for Reggie at all.

"ROY BABY! Dance with me!" Vivienne pulled Roy out of his dark corner and waltzed him unto the dance floor. He kept his eyes focused on Riza and Reggie dancing to the music. Later he would have a horrible neck pains.

"Baby, why aren't you looking at me?" Vivienne tugged Roy's chin so he would see into her eyes. She was attractive, this woman, and voluptuous too, but she had none of Riza's charm and delicate nature. Riza was the belle of the ball tonight. Every man craned their necks to look at her (except Hughes, who kept his eyes locked on Roy).

Roy steered his date nearer the Riza and Reggie. He wouldn't need to strain his neck there. "Come, Vivianne, let us dance here. Where the spotlight hits us!"

"The name's _Vivienne_!" She complied with his wish anyway, as she would love to catch a glimpse of royalty. She wondered how much money he made each year – compared to that of Roy. She wondered whether he would lavish his riches on her and want her for himself. Vivienne would be a duchess and would easily top this beautiful blonde woman whom he was dancing with.

Roy watched Riza's face. Her eyes were gazing into Reggie's. There was that spark again he noticed. As the couple spun around, Reggie caught Roy's stare and gave him an evil smirk. The grin of success. He would get her tonight, oh yes he would.

Edward sneered at Mustang as he and Winry swung past them. I'm-gonna-get-you was written on his expression. Roy also noticed Hughes, observing his every movement. Young Al stepped on his date's toes yet again, and the poor girl howled with pain. Jean Havoc seemed perfectly content as he danced 

with Penelope. Their eyes held love in them, and Roy couldn't help but notice Riza's eyes held the same for Reggie. _What does she see in him? He's not even good-looking._

The conductor cued for a change in tempo. The music was faster now, and signalled the change of partners. They all knew this dance by heart. Vivienne grabbed the duke before the bevy of his admirers did. Roy immediately took Riza.

"You were going to kiss _him_?" Roy's jealousy was thick and heavy. He held the same look when she befriended Jean Havoc when they were children. Riza was _his _playmate and no one else's.

"_You_ were spying on us?" Riza held contempt and stopped herself from insulting her superior. "Anyway, what do you care about whoever I kiss? That's MY business!"

"Well, um..." Roy was too proud to admit his envy to his old friend. "I'm only concerned. He doesn't seem like a very good guy."

"You don't know him very well."

"Oh and _you _do? How long have you been going out? A week?" He noticed Vivienne and Reggie openly flirting.

"He's flirting with my date!" Roy exclaimed. Riza looked back and fought hard to deny the truth.

"_Your _date's flirting with mine!"The music signalled another change of partners. She stepped hard on Roy's right foot and searched for Havoc. Looking over her shoulder, she said "Keep a leash on your gold-digger."

Roy yelped in pain, but was brought to his feet by Hughes. He grabbed his fallen friend and danced as the music grew faster.

"Hughes! What are you doing?" Roy tried to wriggle free, but Hughes kept his movements swift and tightened his grip on his friend.

"You may want Riza, but you're making things worse!" Hughes' expression was hard to read behind his glasses. The spotlight bounced unto them and hit Roy's eyes .

"Ow! I'm not jealous!" Roy fought to keep his vision, but he only saw white light and heard Hughes' voice boom.

"Oh for godsake Roy! Be a man and admit your damn feelings!" Hughes rarely spoke like this.

"All right, I do, I do like Hawkeye, but what'll I do huh? Rip the duke's freakin' limbs off to show how much I love her?" Roy's face drained of blood after he spoke those last three words.

"YOU LOVE H – " The frantic colonel desperately clamped a hand over Hughes' big mouth.

"What do I do, Maes? She's gonna kiss him tonight!"Roy was in panic-mode now. Soon he would be jittery and exhibit symptoms of fever and hallucination. But Roy was grown up now, and he didn't want everyone to see him like that.

"Don't beat the guy up! And really, if I were you, I'd stay away from her while she's still mad."

"Knowing Riza, it would take a whole other week before she gets over this! They'd probably be engaged by then!" Roy was exhibiting jitter now. Still, no way would he be hallucinating like crazy tonight.

Hughes felt Roy's hands grow terribly hot. _And there's the fever_, Hughes thought.

"God Hughes! I blew it! I freakin' blew it! I had my chance, but I didn't take it! I see them, there getting married! They live in the stupid diamond palace with little bratty children!"

_And there's the hallucination. _Hughes patted his friend gently on the shoulder before moving on to a female dance partner. _I shouldn't meddle in this one now. He can take care of himself_. But Roy was standing stiff as a pole as Penelope tried to swing his arms from side to side. _No, Hughes, don't meddle_. _Roy can do this alone. He's not ten anymore. He's a big boy now! _

The poor colonel was muttering to himself now, and Hughes could stand it no longer. _What was that thing that made Roy come back to his senses? Right! Liquid! Gotta splatter some on his face!_ Hughes excused himself from Maria Ross and dipped the ladle into the attractive red liquid. The chef looked on happily as Hughes filled another glass (for Roy) with his concoction.

His smile was wiped away when he saw the lieutenant-colonel drench Mustang's face with it.


	6. Roy's Scheme

CHAPTER 6

Maes Hughes expected a scream or even a very colourful cussing coming from his best friend. It was a surprise though, when Roy simply blinked and busied himself with cleaning up. The lieutenant-colonel was successful then. Colonel Mustang was in control, and would probably deal with the situation with a suave but deadly air.

Al, ever helpful, volunteered to transmute the liquid into vapour for his superior. Roy calmly thanked the lad and said with a whisper "Keep your eyes on the duke. If he makes a move on Riza, stall him."

The young alchemist's face was difficult to read because of the armour that encased his soul, yet there was something about the way he spoke that gave away his mischievous side. "Is there something I need to know about, Colonel Mustang?" Roy could swear he saw a grin.

"I am deeply concerned about our Hawkeye, and I hope you will aid me in protecting her from evil personified – namely, Regginald Marsden." Roy finished and searched Al for a reaction. If he was anything like his brother, he would soon resort to teasing and annoying comments.

"Evil personified?" Alphonse said. "That's pretty harsh for somebody that looks so much like you."

A vain formed on Roy's temple and he retaliated with "You people are blind. If I looked like him, I'd shoot myself."

"Then get the gun ready, sir," Al's sarcasm was evident these days. The men reasoned that puberty and Ed's bad influence had something to do with it. The colossal armour fished for a new dance partner but kept his ruby red eyes on Hawkeye, just as he was told.

Vivienne was flirting with Havoc now. Roy knew she was a gold-digger from the start, yet he brought her along to make Riza jealous. So far, his plan wasn't working. She had to have some other use. He gently tapped his second lieutenant's shoulder and put on his sweetest smile.

"May I cut in?" Roy asked politely. Havoc was willing to leave Vivienne. She had a big chest, but no brains. Besides, he adored his Penelope. Perhaps the relationship would lead to something more?

"Sure, chief, she's _your _date!" Havoc quickly took his Penelope away from Breda.

"Roy, baby! I knew you'd miss me!" Vivienne batted her eyelashes at him. Roy knew she fancied more affluent men like the duke, and he would use this to his advantage.

"Oh, my Vivienne," Roy pulled her closer and feigned immense adoration. He copied the look Havoc had for Penelope, and it worked perfectly. "Did I ever tell you that your beauty astounds me so?"

Since Vivienne was no brighter than a nut, she noticed no foul play. "Well, I know I'm hot. Thank you, sweetie!"

A tango was playing in the background. Roy, ever the drama king, acquired a rose from a nearby vase and put it in his mouth. "Let us dance," he mumbled through the stem.

Vivienne gasped as she was swept up in the whirlwind of brisk and passionate steps. Roy was an agile dancer, and extremely handsome, yet tonight he was acting out of character. The spotlight on Vivienne's rhinestone covered gown blinded the spectators and added to Riza's irritation. The sly colonel noticed and continued to spin his partner around.

"What the hell is he doing?" Havoc had never seen his superior like this. Of course, Roy always wanted to be the centre of attention, even when they were kids, but this display of _fiery romance _in front of everybody was just plain strange...for the colonel at least. Hughes, on the other hand, knew what was going on.

"He's making Riza jealous," he said happily. "Now he's in control of her emotions. Look!"

Riza definitely looked displeased. At first, Roy was the victim of feelings. He grew increasingly restless and resentful of the duke when he saw him with Riza. Now the tables have turned, and the previously disturbed colonel had the upper hand.

"Would you like to dance, Reggie?" she asked the duke. Reggie was never one to be ignored. He wanted the limelight Roy had right now, so why hesitate?

"Of course, Riza," he grabbed her waist and led her to the dance floor. "Let's show these people a _real _tango."

The two couples danced, and for the rest of the audience, this was the best ball so far. The tension was rising, and none of the dancers wished to give up. The women suffered the most. Their heels were torture on their feet. Almost half an hour into the game, Roy said something that frightened Vivienne.

"I'd like you to move in with me," he said as he swayed her to the music.

"WHAT?!" Vivienne screeched, loud enough for everyone to hear. Roy took the chance to say the biggest lie of his life.

"I think I'm falling in love with you!" He said. People clapped and hooted. The music suddenly stopped. Of course Vivienne would freak. Roy grinned slyly. She was the type who moved from one man to another until she found the richest one of the lot. He knew she had set her eyes on the duke.

"B-but," Vivienne stammered, "We've only gone out for about a week!"

In the corner of Roy's eye, he saw Riza's stunned face. She had stopped dancing, and was now looking at the couple in shock. Reggie looked rather jealous himself. Vivienne was supposed to be his back-up for the night if Riza refused to go home with him.

"That's why it would be fun," Roy led his date to the buffet table. "Getting to know more about each other while under one roof!" He filled his glass with brew and poured her a glass as well. "Shall we toast to that?" All the while, Roy's senses perked up for any sign of Riza leaving the room. That's why Al was there to help.

Reggie leaned close to Riza and whispered deviously "I think it's time to have some fun of our own. The parlour's empty." Riza was being swept to the parlour like a doll. Her face was blank and she didn't protest as he was closing the doors behind them.

Al, keenly observing the human movement, decided it was time to intervene. "Excuse me!"

He put a large metal hand in the doorway before the duke could stop him. "Lieutenant Hawkeye!"

Riza snapped out of her trance and looked up to see Al pushing his way inside the room. "Hey! We're supposed to have a private _talk_ here!" Reggie protested. The armour pretended not to hear him.

"Oh oh! I thought I saw my kitty run in here!" Al crouched on the floor and searched frantically for the fictional kitten. He lifted the sofa on which Riza was sitting on and dropped it on Reggie's foot.

"Ouch! Al! That hurt!" Riza yelled. She noticed the yelping duke and added "Oh well, maybe not as much as _that_ hurt."

Roy was bored listening to Vivienne's top 100 reasons on why they shouldn't live together. He decided that Al would need more help. "Excuse me while I speak to my comrades."

"Does that mean we won't go through with this?" Vivienne's expression grew hopeful. She would snag the duke later tonight.

"We'll go through with this, all right," Roy smirked and watched the horrified Vivienne fill her glass with more brew. He headed off to Hughes and Havoc.

Knowing they'd only help him out if he admitted his feelings bravely, he said "Fellas, I love Riza, okay? WIPE THAT GRIN OFF YOUR FACE, HAVOC! Anyway, I need help. Call the others."

"Rightio, boss," Havoc sniggered. Like a teenager, Roy openly admitted he loved this girl. He left to find Falman and the rest of the team.

"Have a plan, Roy?" Hughes asked. "Glad to know you're taking action!"

"Yes. And if all goes well, Reggie will be exposed for the sonovabitch he really is," Roy removed the rose from his pocket and stepped on it brutally.

"But there's a downside," Roy said glumly. "Riza might hate me for this."


	7. According to Plan

CHAPTER 7

Roy Mustang knew that his men would support him till the very end, no matter what. He was grateful they were there for him, even during "love problems". The colonel did notice Jean Havoc was rather excited – _too excited_ actually. Normally, the blond would just puff his cig calmly as he listened to his boss's rant. The only time he became overwhelmed with glee was when his superior proclaimed he would order all women to wear tiny mini skirts as soon as he becomes fuehrer. This was certainly no mini skirt matter.

"Havoc, you okay?" Roy asked his friend. The blond nodded happily and gestured the colonel to continue.

"No seriously. Are you okay?" the colonel prodded.

"Oh yes yes yes I am!" Was Havoc drunk? A few minutes ago, he was sober. "I'm just so _pleased_ that you've finally decided to leave the playboy lifestyle behind."

"_Really? _Is that all?" Knowing Havoc, he would show extreme loyalty if the outcome would benefit him greatly.

"Honestly...with you out of the picture, I'll be Central's most eligible bachelor!" Havoc squeaked in glee.

"And what about Penelope? Don't say you'll give up a great woman like that just to be the most eligible man in the city."

"What do you know about great women?" Havoc raised an eyebrow. "You didn't realize a great girl was right beside you all this time."

"All right, I made a mistake!" Roy threw his hands up in the air as if to surrender. "I mean who doesn't?"

"Anyway," Havoc continued. "I don't plan on dumping Penelope. I think something deeper could come of this."

"In other words," Hughes butt in. "You won't be a bachelor after all!"

"I...hadn't...thought of that..." Poor Havoc could be stupid sometimes. "Damn it! Just when opportunity knocks!"

"Don't worry, Jean," Hughes said. "You have a girlfriend now! And that's points ahead of our poor colonel here!"

Havoc grinned at this. "He's almost thirty, and hasn't settled down yet. True, true, I'm ahead! OF YOU!"

Roy mumbled something incoherent and beckoned his men to come nearer. "That's why I need your help. Now, we need to find the duke's weakness."

"Colonel! Cononel!" Al headed straight to the group and knocked over Breda in the process. "So sorry, Breda...um..."

"Alphonse, I told you to distract _him_!" Roy seethed.

"Yes, that I have done. He's searching for an ice pack." Al lowered his head in shame. "I didn't mean to hurt him, honestly."

"Ooh, who said you can't?" Roy smiled and shook the armour's hand. "Where'd you get him?"

"Foot. Dropped a couch on it." Al rubbed his head, quite proud now of his help. "Pretended to look for a kitty."

"Good work! Very good!" Roy clapped. "Riza's whereabouts?"

"Helping him find an ice pack," Al realized his grave mistake and was about to rush and fix it, but Roy stopped him.

"No, you've done your part. If you continue interrupting them, they'll be suspicious." Turning to Fuery, he said, "You're turn. Time to prove you're useful." Fuery saluted, but Roy slapped his hand away. "And phu-leaze, do NOT make this black-op so obvious!"

Hughes guffawed. "Black-op? Boy, Roy, you're so serious."

"Naturally," Roy stated flatly. "Blatantly ruining the duke's night is a minus for my conduct."

-

"It's that um..." Cain Fuery was panicking. Riza could be so stubborn sometimes. She was intent on keeping the duke company while his foot was hurting. Fuery was reminded of her dedication to Roy.

"I have to watch over him for the meantime."

"Yes, leave us be, will you?" Reggie tried to disguise it, but he was clearly irritated by the constant interruptions.

"N-no, I'm afraid I can't!" Fuery kept thinking about his colonel and how broken he would be if he failed in this task. "I-I love you, Riza Hawkeye!"

The first lieutenant blinked in disbelief. She yanked his tuxedo collar and snarled. "Who sent you to bother us? It was the colonel, wasn't it?"

"No! I swear, I've always _admired_ you from a distance," the master sergeant wasn't lying. "I-I was just too ashamed to ask you out, ever! And I regret that, I really do..." there was hurt in his voice. "And now someone else wants you. I'm too late."

"Well, that's the difference between you and me," Reggie drawled. "If I like a woman, I tell her."

Riza immediately thought Fuery was referring to Reggie; in fact, he was referring to both Reggie and Roy. Since Fuery was a terrible liar, he decided once and for all to tell the truth.

"I'm sure there will be someone much better for you," Riza smiled and took his hand. "I could at least have this one dance with you. Would it be all right?"

_Perfect_. Riza was playing right into Fuery's hands. The young man was pleased that she took this news so well. Perhaps there was really someone for him out there. Besides, Roy and Riza deserved each other. She would keep him in check for sure.

"What about me?!" Reggie was unable to conceal the whiny tone in his voice.

"I'm sure you'll be able to stand in a bit," Riza smiled and took Fuery to the ballroom. Roy and the others stood agape as the youngest soldier of their group danced with their only girl.

"Wow...he's done better than I expected..." Roy chuckled as Fuery gave him a thumbs-up behind Riza's back.

"Havoc, could you bring Vivienne over here?" Roy requested. "Don't hesitate to be a little flirty."

"What?!" Havoc couldn't predict Roy's actions. He was actually inviting him to flirt with his date.  
"Do as I say," the colonel commanded. "Nothing to lose!"

"Need I remind you that I have a _girlfriend_?" Havoc couldn't believe Roy would be so inconsiderate.

"Not to worry. I have that covered." Roy pointed to Hughes happily showing off his family pictures to Penelope. "I can't believe that man. He actually brought a photo album with him!"

Havoc spotted Vivienne cozying up to one of the young sergeants already. He was in luck. A gold-digger would definitely go for Second Lieutenant Jean Havoc rather than a sergeant.

"What a lovely night this is, Miss Vivienne," Havoc finally had the chance (and permission) to test his charms. He deliberately ignored the sergeant's crestfallen expression. _This would do you good, young man, _Havoc thought. _You don't deserve a bitch like her_.

"Indeed it is, mister - ?" Havoc was slightly irritated that she didn't remember him from the dance a while ago.

"Jean Havoc. _Second Lieutenant_ Jean Havoc," he flashed his own original smirk and watched her eyes flutter. "Would you mind accompanying me for a second?"

Vivienne's mind (if she ever had one) twirled. This is how her thoughts would be arranged: _Roy colonel. Colonel rich. Jean second lieutenant. Second lieutenant not as rich. _"Oh maybe next time."

Havoc was dumbfounded. How could she choose a sergeant over him? Unless...she didn't know this boy's rank. _Sorry, lad._

"I see you've met _Sergeant _Cooper," Havoc emphasized the rank.

"Oh! You're a _sergeant_?" Vivienne's eyes widened. She almost missed an opportunity to be with Havoc, a member of the higher ups. "Maybe I'll see you next time, Cooper, sweetie. Ta-ta!"

_Now what?_ Havoc scanned the crowds for Roy and saw him pointing to the parlour. Reggie was definitely in there. _What does he want me to do? _

The colonel immediately rushed to Penelope and Hughes. He pretended to be out of breath. "I can't believe Vivienne! She's taking Havoc to the parlour!"

"What?!" Penelope looked hurt. Luckily, Roy had just the right excuse. "Jean was only looking for the duke. Vivienne accompanied him to the parlour instead! She dumped me for Havoc!"

"Let me at her!" Penelope growled. "Jean would never do such a thing, right colonel?"

"Of course not," Roy reassured her. "The chap's been my friend for years. He's not very bright when it comes to women's charms." He watched Penelope's face change from anger to amusement.

"In that case, I'll show him real charms!" She marched to the parlour, leaving Roy on the brink of cracking up.

"Everything's going according to plan." Roy smiled at Hughes. "This is too easy."

"Better not be too cocky, Roy," Hughes said. "Your plan may work, but what if Riza refuses to talk to you after?"

"That's a risk I'm willing to take," Roy's voice grew softer. "Riza doesn't deserve a bastard like him. At least exposing him would shake her faith in him."

"Would you...be able to live with Riza's rejection? If ever..."

Roy tensed and shut his eyes. Hughes took that as a 'no'.


	8. Carried Away

CHAPTER 8

Roy anticipated Penelope's actions. He watched from afar as she stormed in the parlour and pulled out Havoc. She seemed to be scolding him. After a few seconds though, they were being all sweet again. _Good job, Havoc_.

Vivienne, of course, should've spotted the duke in the room by now. The door was closing. _Perfect_. The colonel had made sure to scare Vivienne out of staying with him. She was a gold-digger after all, and opposed to moving in with a man unless he was the richest and most famous one she could find.

So far, Reginald Marsden matched the kind of guy she wanted. If Riza wasn't around, she'd definitely take the opportunity to get close to him. So, the next step was to remove the first lieutenant out of the picture. Al successfully stalled Reggie's attempts to seduce Riza in the parlour. The foot injury was a nice touch and actually very helpful.

Fuery (whatever he did) effectively steered Riza away from the company of the duke. Next, Roy had Havoc bring Vivienne to the parlour. Since she made up her mind to never settle down just yet, she immediately agreed. All the colonel had to do was convince Penelope that naive Havoc was unknowingly being led astray by Vivienne.

Reggie was a womanizer, perhaps greater than Roy himself. The colonel could sense that from his suave talk and too-perfect manners. For some reason, many of his friends thought that the duke looked like him. It was irritating that they compared him to this creature.

Vivienne was in the parlour; how convenient for Reggie. She obviously had designs for him, so in this case, he wouldn't be taking advantage of her. She would comply because she wanted royalty like him. _This is too easy_.

Riza would get hurt, the colonel knew that. He reasoned that he was doing her a favour by separating her from this man. And, truly, he did love her. Now, he had to find a way to make her witness Reggie's infidelity. She was angry at him, so he had to have someone else take her. But which one?

Edward Elric was a few feet away. The lad, now the right height for his age, was more confident than ever. _And too much confidence leads to recklessness._

"You're still short to me," Roy jeered. Although Edward knew he was quite tall now, the fact that the colonel even _spoke_ to him got on his nerves.

"Once a bastard, always a bastard," Ed hissed. "You're gonna pay for this, Mustang."

Roy smiled playfully. "You don't plan on killing me, don't you?"

"Worse. I plan on _humiliating _you."

Roy grinned slyly at this. _Ed should learn to work on his temper. His anger makes him easier to control._ "Really? How so?"

"You'll see," Ed casually waved his hand and left. He and Mustang both knew that they were really just into this whole rivalry because it added spice to the dire situations they faced at work. Still, Ed really did want to get even. Mustang always had the best jokes and always made Ed feel like a fool. Not this time though.

_I need to get Edward near the parlour before it's too late_. Roy smirked. Yes, the parlour was the best place to hide. He only needed somebody scary enough to make Edward attempt to sneak in the parlour.

Roy spotted Winry at the buffet table. "Have you seen Edward?" Roy asked good-naturedly.

Winry frowned and spat "How am I supposed to know?! He's been avoiding to much dancing the whole time!"

"You really do like dancing, don't you?" Roy poured himself a drink and leaned on the table.

"Why? You think it's silly too?" Winry scoffed and gulped down her punch.

"No, in fact I enjoy dancing very much. You did see me on the dance floor a while ago."

"Right, I forgot about that." Winry wished Ed had the same passion for dancing. Roy sensed her despair and decided to use it.

"Find Ed. I'm sure he'll be willing to give it another try," Roy advised. He made sure to add, "Don't forget to mention that I, Roy Mustang, surpass him in this field. He's a competitive boy. He'll take this as a – "

Winry was gone before the colonel could say "challenge". Being the loud-mouth that she was, Roy intended to stand and watch things unfold naturally. But he decided to give Ed a heads-up.

"There you are, Fullmetal," Fortunately Ed was standing next to Al – fellow conspirator against the duke. "Winry's looking for you. Something about _dancing_."

"WHAT?! Hide me! Hide me, Al!" Edward frantically climbed on his brother and attempted to seclude himself inside.

Al glanced uncertainly at Roy and expected him to give a kind of hint for action. "Um..."

Roy mouthed the words _back door _and _parlour_. Al understood and carried out the instructions. When they reached the destination, he gently removed his helmet and allowed his brother to climb out. "Hide in here, brother. And please, give thought to this dancing."

"Why? Winry's so – " Edward stopped in mid-sentence and pressed his ear to the back door. The sounds were muffled, but it was obvious that there were people _doing some business_ in there. "Who the hell?"

"Oh brother! You _pervert_!" Al exclaimed. Of course, this was all part of Roy's plan. Al was merely playing his part of the innocent and unknowing brother.

"No no, Al. I'm just curious," Ed listened intently. "Mustang's voice is coming from this room..."

"But didn't we just see him?" If Al had his body back, he would be rolling his eyes. He was playing the dumb brother right now.

"I _know_ Al. So who's...hey...the duke!" Ed almost shouted with realization. _A very sleazy duke_. Ed unsuccessfully tried to suppress a grin. "I think I know whom he's with."

Even Al didn't suspect Ed to know that quickly. "Who? Riza was chatting with Fuery. Gosh, I didn't know Fuery was quite the talker." Of course he knew. It was part of Roy's plan. He was a bit tired of playing this game now.

"Her voice is so annoying...this is the colonel's date. She spoke to me during the waltz, you know. Snubbed me after she found out I was underage." Ed grinned even wider. "This is great, Al."

"How great, o brother?" Al's newfound sarcasm was getting the best of him.

"Hawkeye _has _to know about her date's unfaithfulness...and sure, so does Mustang about _his_ date..." Ed smirked menacingly and grabbed Al's shoulders. "I care about Hawkeye and don't wish to hurt her, but..."

"Brother, you don't have to pretend you're concerned."

"_Fine_. I'm not concerned. She's a big girl. She can take care of herself." The wheels in Ed's mind turned. "I'd be doing her a favour by exposing the bastard duke...plus, I get to _humiliate _Mustang like I intended!"

"Yes, how convenient."

"Exactly! As if this was all meant to be! Funny how things turn out."

Ed quickly returned to the ballroom and clasped his hands together as if in determined prayer. He opened his eyes and brought his hands to the solid wall. Everyone's attention was drawn to him when a small trumpet-like creature with ed's caricatured features protruded from the parlour wall.

The sounds of the _dirty business_ was made public. Immediately, Riza, red with embarrassment, ran to the parlour and burst through the doors. Her eyes widened when she saw Reggie and Vivienne entwined on the couch. Angry tears streamed down her face.

"I – I can explain!" the duke stuttered. "Sh-she came on to me first!" Vivienne slapped him on the cheek and smoothed her crumpled gown.

Roy made his way to the site of the crime and feigned bewilderment. His expression was replaced by horror as Riza took out her gun.

"Riza! N – "

Lieutenant Hawkeye shot two rounds at the wall behind the couch. They intentionally missed the guilty party's heads by inches. Seeing their frightened expressions satisfied her enough, and she left for the balcony without a word.

Ed kept the distance. He didn't expect Riza to react like that. Roy didn't even seem the least bit humiliated. He looked hopeless as the lieutenant shut the glass doors behind her. Then, Ed understood.

_This was his plan all along. He used me. Yikes, that sounds so gay...poor Riza though...Roy's gonna get it._

Hughes sighed sadly and carried his little angel. "Daddy, I said I don't like Weggie!"

"Nobody likes a wedgie, honey," Hughes said absent-mindedly.

"Weggie hurt Wiza."

"Oh. Yeah. That Weggie."

Hughes glanced at his best friend. Roy got carried away with his plan, and there was a chance Riza would never forgive him for it.


	9. A Plea and a Reason

CHAPTER 9

The scent of roses comforted Riza as she stood on the balcony. Her hands gripped the marble and stopped her from shaking uncontrollably. The moon seemed to mock her. Its shine brought her no joy tonight. She remembered he had betrayed her. _They_ had betrayed her. One, she had known forever. The other, she had grown fond of. Things could change in just a week.

A loud tapping on the glass doors interrupted her solitude. Major Armstrong was there, gripping the two men by their collars. Riza would've found this amusing, if not for the hurtful circumstances. But truly, if someone was hurt physically, it would be Roy and Reggie. Being carried by the tight tux collar was punishment, especially if done by the hulking figure of Armstrong.

Riza opened the doors and allowed Armstrong to drop the guilty boys on the hard floor. She folded her arms across her chest as the two got up and nervously preened their suits.

"First Lieutenant Hawkeye, these young gentlemen have some explaining to do!" Armstrong ripped of his shirt and posed dramatically. His sparkle could rival the moon's.

"Er, that was...unnecessary," Roy said of the major's display of torso.

"So was your interfering, Colonel," Riza spoke coldly.

"Hey, _I_ wasn't the one who cheated on you!" the colonel whined.

"I _told_ you, your date came on to me first!" Reggie exclaimed.

Riza noticed a similar intonation in their sentences. She was unnerved by this. The men stood up and faced each other, eye to eye.

"_You're _the horny bastard who flirted with her!"

"Oh but _you _set me up! Jealous you couldn't get your hands on Riza eh?"

Armstrong butt in and showed off his gleaming body. "A woman is not to be treated as a trophy!"

"Seriously, Armstrong, is this _modelling _really necessary?" the colonel stared blankly and was greeted with an equally vacant stare by Reggie.

"Yes, muscled person. Is this really necessary?"

"HEY! You don't talk to my men! They are untouchable!" Roy pointed an angry index finger at his enemy. If his finger was a knife, the duke would've been in great danger.

"Well, I'm actually the untouchable here. Need I remind you of my status?" Reggie smirked. Riza noticed this and started to panic. That smirk was very familiar. "I can _sue_ you."

"For _what_?" Roy returned a devious grin. An old memory resurfaced in Riza's mind. It was of a game Roy and Hughes played as children. The _Mirror Game_. They would copy each movement, mimicking a man and his mirror.

Right now, on the balcony of the grand ballroom, who was the man and who was the mirror? Roy Mustang and Reggie Marsden could be twins, for all she knew.

The boys were squabbling. Riza mentally took note of their mad gestures and unnecessary movements. She listened closely to the rise and fall of their voices and sarcastic quips. Closing her eyes, she felt as if Roy was having an argument (an overlapping one) with himself. This was strange...this was...eerie.

"OH YEAH?!"

"YEAH!"

Blahblahblahblah...

"AM NOT!"

"ARE TOO!"

Blahblahblahblah...

Gracia was right after all. Edward's mistake of mixing them up at first glance was forgivable as well. Hughes! Oh Hughes was definitely correct. Reggie was Roy's spitting image. Riza couldn't believe her blindness. She freaked.

"OUT OUT OUT!" She pushed _Tweedle-dumb_ and _Tweedle-dumber _to the ballroom and shooed Armstrong as well.

"But Riza!" Roy's muffled voice came from the other side of the glass doors. "You're already out!"

_Smarty-pants._ Riza turned her back to him. She was being as childish as he was. This night was a wacky one.

"Vivienne came on to me first!" Reggie's voice was muffled as Roy's. For a second, she thought it was Roy who said it.

"Apologize to the lady!" Armstrong boomed. His tone was surprisingly clear through the glass.

"I'm so sorry, Riza."

"Yes, forgive _me _please?"

Riza gave them a stare so chilling, the three men had to cower and step a foot away from the doors. Soon, they gave up and left Riza to her silence. Roy, however, chose to sneak back to the balcony once Reggie and Armstrong were out of sight.

"Riza..." Roy's voice trailed off when she refused to look at him. He expected something like this would happen, but he always reassured himself that _somehow_ she wouldn't hate him. Perhaps he was wrong.

"I don't want you to explain yourself," Riza kept her gaze on the rose gardens below. "Please go. I'm clearing my thoughts."

Roy was tired of asking for forgiveness. He was certain she heard enough of it too. He took a brave step forward. When Riza said nothing, he moved closer until he could bask in her warmth. Her perfume was that of a rose as well. The gardens contributed to the romantic aroma reaching his nostrils. He wanted her, oh how he wanted her.

Gingerly, he wrapped his strong arms around her waist and drew her close. She made no attempt to struggle, but her body was tense. He placed a soft kiss on her shoulder and left the balcony without a word.

A tear ran down her cheek. Now she knew exactly why Reggie's betrayal stung her. She knew why she adored this man who was obviously a jerk. Riza knew. She had to tell Roy.


	10. Locked Together

CHAPTER 10

She felt the urge to run to him before he left, but she stayed glued to the spot, looking stubbornly at the dark horizon and the silhouettes of the orchard trees and the clumps of rose bushes below. The aroma it emitted, the one that used to be soothing, was now mocking her. Romance had left as soon as it came. Riza Hawkeye wanted to tell Roy, but still, she was a woman of pride.

_Go_. Something told her she had to go. But where? Home where Hayate patiently waited, or to Roy before he was gone forever? She opted to head home. She would speak to the colonel before work on Monday. He wouldn't really be gone forever. Tonight was too much for her, and she had no other reason to stick around anymore.

Riza remembered she had left her purse in the parlour before dancing with Fuery. Heading towards the room, she noticed Hughes eyes on her. She wondered if it was really a grin she saw on his face. As soon as she entered the parlour, the door shut behind her.

"Hughes!" Riza shouted. _Great, just great._ _Perhaps Roy's in here too?_ "All right colonel," she snapped. "You've gone too far. Where are you?!"

Frustrated mumbling came from the side of the couch. She peered over and saw Roy – hands and feet tied – with tape on his mouth. Riza stared blankly. "They overdid it, didn't they?"

"Mmmmmm!" Roy's muffled scream ordered her to untie him. Fortunately, Riza understood that frown of his.

Once he was untied, he rubbed his wrists and ankles angrily. "Damn those men. No one binds Roy Mustang!"

Riza, for the first time, that night, giggled. The colonel dropped his former expression and blinked curiously. "Find this amusing, Lieutenant?"

"Funny you should call me lieutenant again," Riza resigned herself to a neutral air. "Tonight, you've called be nothing but my first name."

"Well, since you don't want to talk about the events that transpired...I should be formal with you again."

"You're doing a pretty good job, colonel. Very formal indeed," Riza was amused by Roy's pretentiousness. Of course he was formal with her at work, but the way he moved and spoke this moment was..._showy_. He reminded her of a young child pretending to be grown up all of a sudden.

"Step aside, I'll burn down this door and we'll be on our way," Roy put on his gloves and was about to snap his fingers when Riza lowered his hand gently.

"Since we're here, I think it's really good if we talk now." Her eyes held words unsaid. Roy stopped himself from grinning before she changed her mind.

"Shall we sit?" Roy thought twice. "Ugh, on second thought, let's just settle on the carpet." Reggie and Vivienne's little escapade was still fresh in their minds.

Roy couldn't help notice Riza's shimmering loveliness as she sat on the soft green carpet like a mermaid on a mossy rock. Her long hair framed her round face beautifully, and even in sadness, her eyes held the same amber glow. He sighed.

"Colonel?"

"Um?" Roy blinked absent-mindedly. "Oh, what was that, Lieutenant?"

"You don't need to re-explain yourself again. I think I've heard enough," Riza played with a lock of golden hair and twirled it nervously around her finger. "It's my turn to do some explaining."

"You?" You've done nothing wrong. It was I who has been childish," Roy managed a small embarrassed smile and sat across her like an Indian.

"Listen to me," Riza said. "I know you're all wondering why I chose to go out with Reggie even though it's obvious he's an arrogant man...and quite a jerk too."

"Yes, would you mind explaining that?" Roy's sarcasm started to flow in, but he kept control. He bit back many anti-Reggie words.

"It's because..." Riza fiddled with her hair and dropped her gaze. "Because he reminds me so much of you."

Roy was torn between glee (finally, she does have feelings for me) and disbelief (_Reggie_? Like _me_?). He managed half a frown, half a smile, which looked extremely creepy to Riza.

"I think I should go now..." Riza said uncertainly. Roy raised his eyebrows.

"No, no need. I was just uh...hehe...surprised." He scratched his neck nervously. What else was there to do? If he reacts against her claim, she would be angry again. If he keeps silent, she would think that he agrees with her...which he most vehemently does not.

"I...I...I'm not like Reggie..." Roy blurted out. _To hell with the consequences. She must know I'm not like him. _"I never cheat on women I'm currently dating. I'm aware that I'm a braggart and an arrogant jerk sometimes, but I would _never_ betray you."

"Reggie's a free spirit, and so are you, Colonel, although you're too hard on yourself sometimes," Riza chuckled. "At the time I was dating him, of course I didn't know he would betray me."

"Is that our only similarities? Our free spirits and obnoxiousness?" Roy sputtered. Riza smiled at his self-criticism and honesty. She had never seen him like this.

"Okay, it took me some time to see this, but you and Reggie look so much alike," she eyed him curiously, waiting for a reaction. Roy's face turned red – not in embarrassment but in vexation.

"GAWD! WHY DOES EVERYBODY SAY WE LOOK ALIKE? HE'S A FUGLY BASTARD THAT CHEATS ON HIS GIRL AND HE HAS THAT ANNOYING SMIRK AND THAT SMOLDERING GAZE THAT MAKES ME WANNA PUKE!!"

Blah blah blah blah blah blah. As he ranted on and on, Riza tried not to laugh. Roy and Edward have more in common than they think.

"Colonel, calm down. Now I know...you're much better than he is. No – you're incomparable to him. You're _Roy_." She fiddled with her fingers as she kept her gaze on Roy. He choked on his words and stared in surprise.

He was extremely happy, but how should he show it? Would it be appropriate to kiss her right then and there? Or should he simply smile? No, his smile would look stupid. A grin would seem arrogant. He babbled incoherently.

"Gee, gah, um, well...uh...er..." he twiddled his thumbs for the first time in years. Never had he been speechless in front of a girl before.

"Well, um, _Riza_, I..." before he could finish, she leaned forward and kissed him softly on his lips. He closed his eyes and cupped her cheek as he pulled her closer. She ran her fingers through his raven hair and wrapped her arms around his neck. Roy couldn't contain his happiness. He needed to tell her.

The young colonel pulled away much to Riza's irritation. He cleared his throat and said, "Riza, I lo..."

Just then, the parlour door was wrenched from its frame by the hulking Armstrong. Hughes stood right behind him with the rest of the men by his side. Roy growled in dismay. Riza still held her irritated gaze. Hughes noticed all this and misinterpreted their actions.

"Since you two haven't made up yet, it's time for me to interfere!" Hughes ordered Armstrong to grab Roy and Riza's shoulders, just in case they would run away. "_Legally _too, as the men back me up!"

Havoc popped a gum in his mouth and blew a giant bubble. Roy poked it angrily. _Just when things started to look good..._

(Author's Note: Sorry for the delay! Summer classes take up my time! Anyway, there will be at least one last chapter after this. Thanks for your support!)


	11. Three Words

Hey guys! I'm sorry I haven't updated in a long time. Summer classes. Whew. Oh, by the way, there's no lemon here 'coz I've never written lemon before (and it would suck). Oh yeah, this is the end! Thanks for the support!

CHAPTER 11

Hughes ordered Armstrong to reattach the door to its frame. After which, the Strong-Arm Alchemist transmuted a table and two three chairs in the middle of the parlour. Roy and Riza were seated across the lieutenant-colonel.

"Er, Maes," a vain was forming in Roy's temple yet again. "We've already made up, Riza and I." The first lieutenant nodded in assent. Hughes scoffed and turned off every light in the room. Only the oil lamp on the table remained lit. He was the interrogator, the investigator, and the hotter non-cherub version of Cupid. Hughes relished the power.

"If so, why have I encountered such unpleasant expressions when I entered the room?" he folded his hands together and rested his strong chin on them. Roy groaned.

"Because you men _interrupted _us!" Roy yelled.

Riza rolled her eyes and yawned. She wanted this to be over with, and she would only speak unless required.

"Hmm, and what exactly did I interrupt?" a large grin appeared on Hughes' face as he surveyed the couple.

"We uh...we were actually um..." Roy was starting to babble again. Riza decided it was time to speak.

"We made up, all right," she looked straight at Hughes and showed no expression. "Then, we _made out_."

The men gasped, including Roy. How frank she was.

"Aaaw come on, guys, this ain't a court room drama!" Hughes yelled at Havoc and the others. Hughes was extremely delighted (and shocked by her straight-forwardness), but he had to inquire further. He really had curiosity issues.

"What kind of kiss?" he smirked as he said this. "French-y?"

"HUGHES!!" Roy stood up and slammed his fist on the table. Hughes enjoyed his best-friend's expression immensely. "That's personal!"

"Oh in that case, I believe you," the lieutenant colonel stood to shake Roy's hand. "Aaaw, but you could've at least given me more fun time to question you guys."

Roy smiled a real happy smile and pushed him playfully. "You men ought to leave us alone now. Riza and I have some unfinished business to talk about."

Hughes hugged his friend and took out his camera. "For memories?" Without their permission, he snapped a photo of them. Later on, Hughes would develop the picture and see Roy and Riza actually smiling together. For the first time.

"Gentlemen, let us leave the lovebirds!" Hughes marched towards the door as the men congratulated Roy and Riza. After they had left, Roy turned to his blonde beauty and was about to say the most important words of his life when...

"Don't get too frisky all right?" Hughes peeped through the door.

"OUT!" the two shouted in unison. Riza smiled at Roy and stroked his hand gently. "What was it you wanted to say?"

Roy hesitated for a moment, and then swept her up in a hug. "I don't think this is the right place."

"I agree. Let's go to my apartment. Hayate must be starving," Riza smiled.

With a sly grin, Roy said, "He's not the only one who's starving."

Riza thought the colonel's line was playboy-corny, but she just took his hand and led him out of the parlour.

...

"Oh, and where are _you _going?" Edward sneered. "You USED – no, MANIPULATED me!"

"My apologies, shrimp, but if you excuse us," Roy wrapped an arm around Riza's waist and walked her out of the ballroom. "Extract revenge some other day."

Edward kicked the bucket – one that was somehow misplaced on the floor. "He makes a fool of me and wins the woman too. Next time..."

...

Riza contemplated the events of the night. How ironic that she dates the spitting-image of Roy and ends up with him in the end. It was ironic as well that Reggie was the one who brought them together indirectly. If not for Roy's jealousy, he would never have admitted his feelings.

She rolled over to her side and caressed Roy's cheek. He was sleeping peacefully, and she wouldn't dare wake him. Of course, it wouldn't hurt placing a soft kiss on his lips.

Big mistake.

"Wh..." he blinked innocently.

"Shh, go back to sleep." She smiled and snuggled on his shoulder. "Roy."

"Mmm?" he mumbled sleepily.

"No, no, I'm just getting used to saying your name...Roy..." she ruffled his hair.

"Mmm?" he mumbled again.

Riza sighed and tried to sleep. Roy wasn't listening, and he was too sleepy to comprehend anything. There was a loud snort.

"You, you!" Riza nudged him. "You've been awake all this time!"

"Mmm?"

"Shut up," she giggled and smacked him with a pillow. "Go to sleep now."

"Mmm-hmm," Roy smiled and pulled the blankets over him.

"Wait...umm...you've meant all you said right? What you said a while ago..." she trailed off and waited for him to reply.

He turned over to face her. Roy rested his elbow on his pillow and stared into her eyes. "I've meant everything I said, Riza. I would never lie about that. I love you."

She felt something stirring inside her again when she heard those words. The first time he said that, they ended up in bed. There was definitely love and passion in their actions, but she did not give the reply that usually comes after those three words.

She kissed him again, not knowing what to say – or rather, how to say it. After a quick goodnight, Roy rolled over in his sleep. Riza watched him and listened to his steady breathing.

Why didn't she say she loved him? Perhaps deep inside, she was still afraid of being hurt. She did not doubt Roy's love for her, but who knows what could happen years later? Some get divorced after a long marriage. Couples lose their passion and grow tired of each other. Riza did not want to lose him.

_I'm being silly_, she thought. _I'm losing him right now by not telling him..._

What was the harm in doing so? She remembered the look he had in his eyes when he didn't receive the answer he was hoping for. Perhaps sex pushed it away from his mind...for a while.

She decided to tell him in the morning, as soon as he wakes up. She imagined his grin at hearing those words. And those eyes...how joyful they would be.

He was asleep now, and she would not wake him. However, it wouldn't be harmful to practice right now, would it?

She leaned close to his ear and whispered, "I love you...Roy."

As she lay on her side of the bed, she did not notice Roy's smile and the light in his eyes. But she did hear him murmuring, "Mmm-hmm." He had never been happier.


End file.
